After learning a couple months ago my position of 11 years was being reduced (thank you Governor Cuomo) I went through the normal grieving, anger, sadness process. I am still going through it. No matter how legal it all is, I do go through feelings of betrayal and self pity.
On fantastic up-shot however is that I finally found my blogging Lens. I remember starting blogging and reading Will Richardson’s reflections on his blog. Wondering how to develop my lens, I always was intimidated for a number of reasons. I could not find my blogging niche. As some one that grew up with a 504 and had processing issues, I always felt inadequate in my ability to represent my thoughts in a coherent manner.
Fast-forward to the current day, I have no teaching position waiting for me in September, I presented my approach on my Cyber Safety curriculum (I teach my students and their parents) at the LHRIC’s Tech Expo. The aftermath is still amazes me. I was asked at least 4-5 times with in an hour if I had considered consulting, and presenting. In truth? not seriously, but I dreamt about it many times when I should have been planning.
So the best part of my Lay-off? Finding my lens and my courage at the same time. I am not from a cookie cutter background, but that history has provided me an inner strength and a desire to drive others forward.
I sat down two days ago and and was inspired, before I realized it I had jotted down my core values for a business, then a mission, then my catch phrases. I had the name of my consultancy. And it all resonated with me.
The next day I sat down I had in the span of an hour had 4 presentations, and 8 workshops that I am very capable of delivering, and delivering well. The scary part? Being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is very difficult for the employed teacher in a blog.
Will Surmises exactly what my fears are:
But here is the thing: no matter how you slice it, blogging is a risk. And it’s a risk not just because you are putting yourself out there for the world, but because unlike many other types of writing that we do, it’s unfinished.
So, focusing on the good? I have the ability now to be more vulnerable and present myself completely rather than the professional version I think everyone wants to see. I can take more risks that I feel will benefit students (I can’t help but want to say “my students”) teachers and parents.
I will be launching my new site and consultancy May 17th, right now it is under construction. Why the 17th? Because that is when the town will vote and the proposed budget that eliminates my position will be adopted. I want to have something good happen for me that day.
I work for and with amazing people, and I am honored to have been here as long as I have. My students? I carry them in my heart where ever I go, every single little face has changed me. I cherish every one of them, especially the challenging students, they remind me of myself. Often times the most challenging ones are the young adults who come back to me to say thank you. How many people truly get to love their job everyday? How many people know they are touching a life forever? Not many… that is the nature of teaching. No matter what happens I will always be grateful for that.